rating: 0+x

Item#: 7000
Containment Class:
Secondary Class:
Disruption Class:
Risk Class:

Overseer Assembly Log: #22172


O5-12: Greetings, Overseer 13.
O5-13: Are all council members present in person?
O5-12: Yes Sir, they are indeed.
O5-13: Commence with the assembly as excogitated.
O5-12: Before we begin with the proceedings, I would look to say a few words to the most recent addition to this council, a man whom I have been personally most impressed with and am glad to finally have with us here with us today:
O5-7: ȶɦɛ ʟօռɢ ǟաǟɨȶɛɖ ǟֆքɨʀɛռȶ ǟʀʀɨʋɛֆ.
O5-12: Overseer 6, I believe a congratulations is in order, this is is your first official meeting after all.
O5-6: Nonsense, you all having confidence in my ability to be on this council speaks volumes enough already.
O5-3: Your ambition has certainly stood out quite brightly over the years; we've had you in our eye for sometime. May I personally remark that the way you handled that recent debacle over Site-22 was phenomenal, you were lucky to come out of there alive, let alone with the situation resolved like it was. You really took control, and left us in a great position. On top of your planning skills? I'll tell you - 4 - can't get enough of your logistics reports.
O5-4: You've certainly got a level head on your shoulders, 6.
O5-2: The UN conceded full authority over the region to the council, they won't be standing in our way there any longer thanks to you.
O5-10: We had, admittedly, known for some time what you were aspiring to; we couldn't intervene for obvious reasons, but we were astonished when you pulled it off without a hitch.
O5-9: Really, congratulations. We mean it, as was said, your success couldn't go unnoticed.
O5-3: Yes, Congra-
O5-13: *Coughs*
O5-12: Ahem, I'm sure O5-6 is fully aware of their success well enough. Now, let's get to business, shall we?
O5-12: First of all, the issue of whom will be running Site-22 in Overseer 6's stead. I'm assuming that you've all sent in your candidates?

O5-12: Alright then, as per our list of candidates: Director Keith Fox, Dr. Ashley Spirits, or Calida Forrest - (current) Deputy Head of The Advisory Administration Council and… as well… The Deputy Head of The Internal Intelligence Division.
O5-3: Well, Calida definitely has the most robust resume… I've not read too much into Dr. Ashley's file, but she does seem a reasonable and well coordinated girl.
O5-4: What about Director Fox? he has been running Sector-7 in Site-22 for years.
O5-3: Director Fox… is… is-uhm… how do I put this?
O5-5: A loose cannon.
O5-3: Thank you 5, exactly the words I'm looking for; I just don't think we can entrust him with that level of responsibility.
O5-8: I'd have to agree, Calida does seem to be the obvious choice in this matter.
O5-10: I do like Spirits… but she lacks any real experience with this scale of leadership. I think it would be best to place Calida in the position and perhaps move Spirits up to an advisory position in league with her current duties.
O5-2: Director Fox's field work was the reason for my previous advocation of his ability, but I will be honest in that his recent exploits as Director of Sector-7 do not inspire further confidence for me. He is definitely capable of being in his current position, however Calida is logically the best choice for running Site-22. I've never particularly liked the woman, but she does get her job done.
05-12: It's settled then?

O5-12: It would seem so, though - O5-6 - do you have any input?
O5-6: Actually yes, I would like to propose that we elevate both Dr. Spirits and Director Fox to the position of Site Director. A Co-Leadership if you will. Though I believe Fox works best when he has someone to keep him in line, I think Dr. Spirits can handle that fine enough - meanwhile he can provide her with the experience and reassurance to put her skills to use. I think she has really proven herself thus far; not to mention that the staff love her - it would be a real morale boost after my less than clean departure.
O5-9: This isn't due to any personal bias, is it? Why not elevate Calida and have Fox and Spirits working under her leadership? I have little doubt that this plan of yours could work, but I think it would be far more efficient to have Calida, alone, take charge.
O5-6: May I remind you that both Director Fox and Spirits think I'm deceased? I've got no relations to hold up with either party. No, I think that your suggestion would be putting all of our eggs into one basket, so to speak; there is a shortage of experienced leadership at this level and I think that getting both Fox and Spirits to work out their kinks while we keep Calida in her current roles would allow us to have two more options for any future debacle. Simply put: using Calida here pins her down to Site-22, depriving The Internal Intelligence Division of a Deputy, and keeps Fox and Spirits in the shadows indefinitely.
O5-9: You raise a valid argument.
O5-13: Indeed.
O5-12: Prospective thinking, 6. Shall we take a moment to think over the proposal before voting?

O5-12: All in favour of elevating Calida Forrest to the position of Site-22's Director.
O5-12: Nae.
O5-9: Nae.
O5-2: Aye.
O5-4: Nae.
O5-5: Nae.
O5-6: Nae.
O5-8: Nae.
O5-11: Nae.
O5-1: Nae.
O5-3: Aye.
O5-10: Aye.
O5-7: ภ̶ค̵є̷.
O5-13: Nae.
O5-12: All in favour of elevating Director Fox to the position of Site-22's Director.
O5-12: Aye.
O5-2: Aye.
O5-6: Nae.
O5-4: Nae.
O5-5: Nae.
O5-8: Nae.
O5-11: Nae.
O5-1: Nae.
O5-3: Nae.
O5-10: Nae.
O5-7: ค̴͉̀ץ̷͙̓є̸̛͕.
O5-13: Nae.
O5-12: All in favour of elevating Dr. Ashley Spirits to the position of Site-22's Director.
O5-12: Nae.
O5-2: Aye.
O5-4: Nae.
O5-9: Aye.
O5-5: Nae.
O5-8: Nae.
O5-11: Nae.
O5-1: Nae.
O5-3: Nae.
O5-6: Nae.
O5-10: Nae.
O5-7: ภ̸̡̧̛̛̮͙̝̦̘̫͈̗̰̠̇̌̒͒̂̔̿̌̓̌̌̕ͅค̶̨̤̺͓̯̝͍̜̻̮͕͚̬̍̄́̄̾͘͜є̴̳̥̖̦̪̖͚͎͓͛.̴̢̼͎͇͍̦̜̺̦̤̹͍̀͒͋̀̑̍͜.
O5-13: Nae
O5-12: All in favour of Overseer 6's proposal to elevate both Dr. Spirits and Director Fox to the position of Site-22 Director.
O5-12: Aye.
O5-6: Aye.
O5-2: Aye.
O5-4: Aye.
O5-5: Aye.
O5-3: Nae.
O5-11: Nae.
O5-1: Aye.
O5-8: Nae.
O5-9: Aye.
O5-10: Aye.
O5-7: คץє.
O5-13: Aye.
O5-12: Then it is decided, we shall follow through with Overseer 6's proposal. As this was his idea, Overseer 6 will be tasked with superintending the promotions, the paperwork will be submitted for Council review and signature in the coming days.
O5-13: Proceed.
O5-12: A-ah yes- next order of business…
O5-12: As you'll know, O5-13 and I have been working tirelessly to amend the details of Operation Horos as per your previous suggestions, I trust you've all read over the material before you arrived?…
O5-12: …Mhm? Then let us begin with the vote.
O5-12: Aye.
O5-2: Aye.
O5-4: Aye.
O5-5: Aye.
O5-8: Aye.
O5-11: Aye.
O5-1: Aye.
O5-3: Aye!
O5-9: Aye.
O5-10: Aye.
O5-7: คץє.
O5-13: Ay-
O5-6: Abstain.
O5-3: Hm?
O5-12: O5-6, you do realise that even if you just abstain, this vote cannot pass?
O5-6: I am aware.
O5-10: Is there a reason you didn't approve the motion?
O5-4: If this is in regards to energy consumption concerns, it wasn't explicitly mentioned in the documentation, but Project Helios will put us in the green for expansion starting in just two years from now which is more than enough time before the projected first rocket launch-
O5-6: Actually, the issues I see with Horos are rather long-winded, and as such I would like to present my case formally, if I may.
O5-13: You may. The room will listen.
O5-6: If the room would draw their attention to the screen…
O5-6: Ahem, my reasoning is actually in regards to all non-terrestrial operations in general rather than any one specific flaw in Operation Horos. During my tenure I've never understood the reasoning behind most extra terrestrial affairs that have been undertaken, in-fact the sheer abundance baffles me. I believe that the entirety of Operation Horos as well as all other extra-solar operations are frivolous. As you can see here on this chart, I've run the calculations and the cost to carry out even just one of these missions would far outweigh the benefits; none of these anomalies in deep space pose any sort of significant nor immediate threat to Earth or even the neighboring solar systems. I understand the concern, but even most of the anomalies in the solar system barely pose a threat in the grand scheme of things. I simply cannot fathom as to why you would all approve this. From my point of view based in cold hard fact, it is a massive waste of resources and manpower. I've compiled a list of terrestrial projects I believe deserve the gargantuan amount of funding and resources we would keep from scrapping Horos entire-
O5-13: Assembly adjourned.
O5-6: … B-but sir, please- just hear me out- none of this makes any logical sense, these missions are accomplishing nothing whatsoever, I simply see no purpose in them-
O5-13: We will resume the meeting in 2 hours from now. In the meantime, O5-6, will be given supplementary material that very well should have been in the dossier for context.
O5-12: Apologies for the oversight.

Item #: SCP-7000

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: The nature of SCP-7000 necessitates that containment procedures designed to delay the negative effects of SCP-7000 on the Overseer Council must be fluid and dependent on current circumstances. Individuals within The Foundation's hierarchy whom are considered to be affected by SCP-7000 to a significant enough degree, as determined by the current Overseer Council, must be appended onto The Overseer Council to ensure the overall stability of The Foundation. Non-Foundation organisations are to be routinely sabotaged as such as they do not discover SCP-7000, nor are influenced by it to a hazardous level. Non-Foundation persons suspected to be affected by SCP-7000 to a significant degree may be terminated if their potential unguided downfall is determined to be a threat to Foundation interests or humanity as a whole.

Originally, the very existence of The Foundation and its venture to contain and research all known anomalies on Earth was enough to keep said negative effects of SCP-7000 from manifesting. However, in order to maintain the initiative and stave off the negative effects of SCP-7000, several waves of expansion to The Foundation's original goals were established during its history. Including: Operation Thalassa, Operation Vathys, Operation Gaia, and Operation Ouranos. All new operations designed to delay SCP-7000 are to be reviewed and voted on by The Overseer Council before coming into effect. No personnel outside The Overseer Council are to know the full extent of SCP-7000 nor the true purpose of any operation designed to delay its effects; each overarching scheme to contain SCP-7000 is to be presented as a series of smaller, individual, and unrelated projects in order to keep knowledge of SCP-7000 solely within The Overseer Council.

Operation Horos is to be immediately designated as the concurrent containment procedure for SCP-7000 after approval via The Overseer Council.

Description: SCP-7000 is an intangible, imperceptible, and omnipresent force which embodies the phenomenon of fortune. All living things on earth are affected by - and make use of - SCP-7000 regardless if they are aware of its existence or not. SCP-7000 typically manifests as slight changes in the likelihood of any particular outcome that benefits the individual affected by it, even if said outcome is logically less probable than another. (I.e. SCP-7000 effectively shifts the odds of any given situation in the favour of those it effects). These effects are typically unnoticed and inconsequential in the vast majority of instances and occur at random.

However, individuals whom engage in a strong willingness to take risks and/or achieve great feats, thereby making more frequent use of SCP-7000, statistically receive better odds from SCP-7000 than those who do not. This effect is amplified the greater the risk taken and or the feat attempted, and will continually be amplified so long as the individual continues to take greater risks or attempt even grander feats; subjects who are aware of this process describe it as incredibly addictive and will almost always attempt to do so. Each consecutive risk and or feat requires escalation in order for SCP-7000 to produce greater odds of success and fortune with it. However, as this continues exponentially, most if not all of those this affects will be unable to continually escalate their success due to a variety of factors but usually due to it being physically impossible to do so or their own emotional restraints (e.g. fear or uncertainty).

Upon this, SCP-7000's positive effects will completely cease, and the individual will be left in a situation they can no longer control - typically causing extreme detriment to them as a result. The damage done to an affected individual will depend on their actions while influenced by SCP-7000. All individuals report at least some health complication after this has occurred regardless of their previous health condition and what may have happened to them due to their resulting circumstances, with the severity also depending on their actions while influenced by SCP-7000. Typically, those who achieved the greatest will be the worst afflicted.

Those that have experienced this and survived will be able to utilize SCP-7000 again without partaking in nearly as large risks or feats, and will often repeat the cycle several times over before their health declines enough to the point of death.

It is debated as to whether or not SCP-7000 is a sentient or sapient force, as historical records show that societies who praised the anomaly as an entity or spiritual idea, tended to see greater effects of SCP-7000 throughout their history, however this is hypothesized to just be due to the worship of SCP-7000 bringing about its effects via the sheer scale of said worship rather than any specific intent from SCP-7000. Negative effects associated with SCP-7000 still occurred, and often matching the scale of its worship. Hence, the near extinction of the religion.

Addendum 7000-A:

Addendum 7000-B:

Overseer Assembly Log: #22173


O5-13: Now that Overseer 6 has been able to read the material provided, make way with the vote to authorize Operation Horos.
O5-13: Aye.
O5-12: Aye.
O5-2: Aye.
O5-4: Aye.
O5-5: Aye.
O5-3: Aye.
O5-11: Aye.
O5-1: Aye.
O5-8: Aye.
O5-9: Aye.
O5-10: Aye.
O5-7: คץє.
O5-6: Aye.
O5-13: The motion has been approved, Operation Horos has been authorized as the current containment procedure for SCP-7000. You may begin with your individual dirivitve projects, I expect them to be of the highest priority until we can ensure Horos will be a success. Does the room have any more proposals before we terminate the assembly?
O5-6: Yes Sir, I would like to request that I move forward with expanding the United Nation and Global Occult Coalition's concessions to include all of North America and the Arctic.
O5-9: That'll be an uphill battle, so soon after Site-22 that is.
O5-13: Well fortune does favour the bold.
O5-13: Approved.

rating: 0+x
Item#: 7000
Containment Class:
Secondary Class:
Disruption Class:
Risk Class:

SCP-7000 is a humanoid figure who was a former member of a Sarkic cult, who had involvement with collecting the broken parts of Mekhane for the Church of the Broken God. SCP-7000 was formerly human, but following too much usage of Eldritch magic in their Sarkic cult, became part Eldritch. Later, influenced by Eldritch, gained access to multiple parts of Mekhane. Soon after collecting [DATA EXPUNGED] pieces of Mekhane, SCP-7000 infused itself with the parts and gained a more varied range of powers. Following the absorption of the parts of Mekhane, SCP-7000’s powers were more potent and still do not have all of them recorded. However, SCP-7000’s powers are more irregular, following no discernible pattern.

SCP-7000 has 4 arms and a mutated facial structure, which has a likeness to a common snapping turtle’s snout. SCP-7000’s body has plated armour on it which is made of mainly keratin and an unknown substance similar to tungsten. SCP-7000’s elbows, back and fingers have extremely sharp armour, which can be used as a defence or weapon, while on the fingers, they form similarly to claws.

SCP-7000 is near indestructible and has telepathic powers, often communicating the will of the Eldritch to nearby people, who are forced to carry out its orders, unless another SCP with powers concerning mind manipulation has interfered.

SCP-7000 utilises entities called “aspects”, these come in a variety of forms and each have different abilities. When they are called for use in a situation where SCP-7000 is in danger, it is randomly selecting an aspect which will use its abilities to try to defend SCP-7000.
Aspects abilities are mainly based on luck. Aspects work in a way where a random set of abilities are chosen. There are 7 different aspects known to us. The aspects are named: Aspect of War, Aspect of Risk, Aspect of Insanity, Aspect of Containment, Aspect of Curse, Aspect of Charge and the Aspect of Gravity.

Containment Procedures

Addendum 1: Interactions with SCP-169

SCP-7000 was escorted to the area SCP-169 was residing in, in proximity of Site-[REDACTED]. All previous attempts of containing SCP-169 had failed. SCP-7000 was brought over, to see if there was a possibility of moving SCP-169, so there would be less casualties when multiple cargo boats would pass over the area SCP-169 was residing in.
SCP-7000 successfully contained and moved SCP-169, but because of the erratic behaviour of its powers, SCP-169 was only able to be contained for 2 minutes and 28 seconds. Following this incident, SCP-7000 was communicated with, and a contract was agreed on.
The specific document was as follows:

I SCP-7000, agree to help the SCP Foundation in its work, its security, its containment procedures and research. In return for this I will be allowed level 2 clearance in every Foundation building, and be allowed to roam through areas which are in accordance with my level clearance. I will also be exempt from experiments that will be considered unethical by the global community, unless I willingly accept to the experiment. I will not be allowed to assist in creating a containment breach. Any breaches of this contract will lead to my immediate containment and reclassification as Apollyon, rather than the classification as of the signing of this document, Thaumiel.

Addendum 2: Experimentation concerning Aspects

3 of the [DATA EXPUNGED] experiments conducted on SCP-7000 were concerning the abilities and limits of the powers of the Aspects.

During experiment 1, SCP-7000 tried to wilfully summon an aspect. After 3 attempts, the SCP successfully summoned an aspect. However, the Aspect of Charge was summoned, whereas SCP-7000 attempted to summon the Aspect of Insanity. Over [REDACTED] periods of this training, SCP-7000 was able to summon any Aspect wilfully, and on occasion, was able to summon 2 randomised Aspects at the same time.

Experiment 2 began, and SCP-7000 tried to utilise the full powers of each aspect. SCP-7000 was unable to utilise the full power of any aspect, but was able to channel the most power from the Aspect of Charge. Over a period of 3 months, SCP-7000 was trained to channel the full power of most aspects. He was trained to only be able to use most of the power in the aspects of War, Insanity and Curse, because of fears of a betrayal from SCP-7000.

The Aspect of Risk’s powers increased and decreased luck, it could assure failure or success. Decreased luck caused: inability to select which aspect is summoned, reduced power in other aspects, more chance of SCP-7000 becoming injured and multiply decreased luck. However, when it increased luck it could: allow up to 3 aspects of SCP-7000’s choosing to be summoned, and up to 4 randomised aspects, increase the powers of each aspect greatly, negate decreased luck and multiply increased luck.

The Aspect of Gravity could manipulate the laws of physics, space and time. It could increase jump height and reduce the effort needed to lift heavy items, it could allow SCP-7000 to teleport and enter other dimensions. It also could revert the current form of something to how it was at up to an hour previously. The Aspect of Risk can affect which manipulation of natural laws it will use based on usefulness or unusefulness.

The Aspect of Curse can impair the abilities of the target greatly, but also has a small chance to backfire and impair SCP-7000. However, increased luck from the Aspect of Risk can make the times when it backfires positive, such as increased intelligence instead of temporary insanity, but decreased luck makes the chance for backfiring much more likely. The impairments can range from: Temporary blindness, temporary insanity, greatly increased perceptiveness to pain, asthma attacks and increased gravity. As of such, the Aspect of Curse is not trained to full power.

The Aspect of Containment can make a barrier or a containment area that is very strong, rivalling much of the containment procedures used for many keter class SCPs. The Aspect of Containment is one of the most frequently used aspects in the facilities, and as a result is one of the most reliable. The Aspect of Risk can affect the strength and how long the barrier can be held for.

The Aspect of War greatly increases the aggressiveness of nearby entities, it can also increase the physical capabilities of nearby entities, allowing MTF units to have the strength to neutralise humanoid SCPs. With increased aspect power from the Aspect of Risk,
The Aspect of Charge provides a higher state of intelligence to SCP-7000, allowing it to carefully plan its next move and analyse the opponent in a split second. The Aspect of Charge allows SCP-7000 more potent abilities from its other aspects, as long as he is not moving and in a state of peacefulness. The Aspect of Charge at increased power from the Aspect of Risk can unlock some unusual abilities from the other aspects, such as instantaneous, but extremely fatiguing complete restoration of SCP-7000 to prime health.

The Aspect of Insanity can manipulate the minds of nearby entities, sending them violent and murderous impulses. Sometimes, with increased aspect power, it can force the targets to commit suicide or commit self harm, as of such, the Aspect of Insanity has not been trained at full power.

Addendum 3 – WD Form

In Experiment 7 of [REDACTED], a new ability of SCP-7000 was discovered, where under extreme physical stress, mental stress, or pressure from the Eldritch, SCP-7000 can access WD Form, where he can use all 7 of the aspects at the same time. During Experiment 7, SCP-7000 was being pressured by the Eldritch to betray the Foundation and attack the researchers, but SCP-7000 was refusing. The Eldritch pressured him more until he entered WD Form and started attacking hallucinations in the cell caused by the Eldritch.

Luckily, no one was killed, but just by being near this, [DATA EXPUNGED] researchers were injured or temporarily incapacitated. In special isolated testing sites, SCP-7000 attempted to wilfully activate the form. Most attempts failed, but with twofold negative luck from the Aspect of Risk and a full power backfiring of the Aspect of Curse was able to trigger WD Form.

SCP-7000 agreed to test out the full power of WD Form, so SCP-7000 was placed in an isolated test facility with SCP-682. WD Form inflicted near lethal damage to SCP-682 at full power. However, in return for this large expenditure of power, SCP-7000 was in a coma for the next 3 days, and was extremely lethargic for the following 2 weeks.

Item #: SCP-7000

Object Class: Safe Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-7000 needs no further containment at the moment SCP-7000 is to be contained in a light containment room furnished in a state consistent with a small fishing shop. At any given time, two Class D personnel should be stationed at the “front desk” and untangle the fishing line at an hourly interval, switching places in 30 minute to avoid triggering SCP-7000’s anomalous effects. Given the disastrous effects should SCP-7000 be exposed to a wide range of personnel, Researchers are only permitted to access SCP-7000 should they have proper cognitohazard protection and have obtained written permission from Dr. Fen. The next door containment room has been converted into an artificial lake for testing purposes.

Note: Does anyone think SCP-7000 would be useful for retrieving Class D Personnel from reality bending SCPs like SCP-106 or SCP- ████? - Dr. Fen

Note: Pending Approval - 05-█


SCP-7000 is SCP-7000 is for all purposes, an outwardly non-anomalous Shakespeare ████ ████ ██-█ ████ series fishing rod, The only difference being that SUPER 4000 (sic) has been written in marker on the spool. This marker, as well as all of the other paint, can not be scratched or destroyed, even under extreme stress testing. Shakespeare Fishing has denied knowledge of such a model, leading foundation scientists to believe that SCP-7000 may have been constructed by PoI-dado. Deconstruction of the rod has proven it to be seemingly identical to a non-anomalous rod of the same type, although biological testing has shown that all inner components, including ball bearings and gears, are made out of biological material, despite feeling solid. This does not affect performance, however, they appear to be the cause for SCP-7000’s anomalous effects, apart from immunity to damage. When Parts from SCP-7000 are placed in other fishing rods, they will gain SCP-7000’s anomalous properties, apart from invulnerability. SCP-7000 appears to possess some sentience following incident SCP-7000-b and attempts to communicate in Morse code via vibrating of the rod. Line will continually unravel and coil around nearby objects unless cut on an hourly basis. Attempts to remove the line from the rod have all proven unsuccessful, and are highly discouraged following test SCP-7000-B. SCP-7000 also possesses a powerful memetic cognitohazard, making all nearby humans have an pressing desire to “go fish” (sic) if exposed to SCP-7000 for more than a half-hour. Affected humans will attempt to proceed to the nearest bait store utilizing the nearest vehicle, often walking for miles on foot if there are no vehicles nearby, without regards to the weather and with no need for sustenance. Affected humans will react aggressively if stopped and will engage the stopper in combat [DATA EXPUNGED]. Upon arrival, they will attempt to purchase the following items:
Six (6) 2 ounce sinker weights
One (1) bucket of appropriate seasonal bait, even if subject has no previous knowledge.
Ten (10) 7 size bait hooks.
If any of these are out of stock, the subject will replace with similar objects. After this, subject will proceed to the nearest body of water1, regardless of size or whether the water actually contains fish. They will then rig the bait, and cast the rod via an overhand cast, regardless of previous fishing preferences or lack of knowledge of fishing. No matter how small of a body of water, the hook will always land within such body of water. Any cameras beneath this body of water will immediately cease to work or have edited footage showing no hook as soon as the line of SCP-7000 enters the water. After a few minutes, the subject will report a tugging sensation approximate to a 10-20 pound fish pulling on the line. They will then attempt to reel the line in. However, no matter the situation, the subject will report being stuck on a rock. No tool has been successful in cutting such line. The line will only retract once the subject has given up or thrown himself into the water to drown. The effects will then immediately stop. This effect has shown to work on, but not limited to:

  • The Atlantic Ocean

*An artificial built-in pool, at the house of Researcher ████ ██████

  • SCP- 354

Dr. Fen has been appointed as head researcher following the demotion of ████████ █████

Note: Due to extreme strain on the Foundation’s Database, SCP-7000 future test logs should expunge audio logs for brevity, unless major deviancy is noted in the test. SCP-7000’s test logs should be abridged in this format:

Test Number:
Brief Description:

Test Log-SCP-7000

Test SCP-7000-1
Researcher: Dr. █████
Location: Site-██
D-4873 was exposed to SCP-7000 for 45 minutes. D-4873 was then questioned about SCP-7000’s anomalous effects. D-4873 revealed that his goal was to go to a fishing shop and get some bait. D-4873 then became violent when he was refused to be let a trip to the nearest fishing shop. D-4873 terminated attempting to break down door.

Test SCP-7000-2
Researcher: Dr. █████
Location: Site: ██
D-9003 was exposed to SCP-7000 for 30 minutes. A temporary fishing shack had been constructed nearby for testing, and a pool had been artificially constructed by ███████ ██████████. D-9003 purchased the closest gear to the list as he could, substituting ███████ ████! brand bait for squid. D-9003 reported that the rod appeared to be stuck after reeling it in for the first time. He quickly became enraged and attempted to break the rod, however he was terminated suddenly after falling into the water. SCP-7000 was retrieved safely.

** I Don't know how to make folds**

Notable Tests

Test SCP-7000-3

This test was conducted to explore the limits of SCP-7000’s effects. D-83064 is a self-proclaimed amateur fisherman. D-83064 was placed in a locked room with SCP-7000. After an hour had elapsed, D-83064 began to bang on the door. D-83064 was D-83064 was questioned

Dr. █████: D-83064, how are you feeling now?

D-83064: Well, I mean, are there any fishing spots nearby?

Dr. █████: D-83064, how are you feeling?

D-83064: I-I kind of want to go fishing right now. Is it just-

Dr. █████: D-83064, you are now under the influence of SCP-7000.

D-83064: What do you mean? I don’t see no SCPs here. I just feel the urge to, y’know, fish. It;s so great, you know to be fishing (redacted for brevity)

Dr. █████: D-83064, pick up the fishing rod

D-83064: oh, sure. (D-83064 picks up the fishing rod) Can I leave now? I WANT TO GO FISHING (D-83064 begins to scream)

Dr. Fen: D-83064, calm down. You-


(Subject began to bang on the door. Subject successfully tore the door down with superhuman strength and runs out of the room. External security cameras show subject running down hallway-/ with superhuman speed, with SCP-7000, all the while screaming “FISH FISH FISH FISH”. Subject used 7000 as a weapon, using the rod to stab through and terminate █ personnel. Subject terminated after reaching Checkpoint-//)

Note: //requesting that next test be outside- Dr. █████

Note: Approved. Stop being an absolute idiot or i will reconsider demoting you - 05-4.

Test SCP-7000-5

SCP-7000 was tested on various animals, including:

Cavapoo (Poodle mix): No effect. However, dog mentioned licked Dr. █████ repeatedly, leading to his great appreciation.

Common Fly: No effect. Fly did land on the rod, but this was determined to be chance.

Felinus Catus (Cat): No effect.

Orangutan: Orangutan attempted to pick up rod, but was unable to.

Orangutan (Dr. Bright): No effect. Dr. Bright/Orangutan then peed on Dr. █████, before running away.

D-8764, in a coma: D-8764 twitched when brought near SCP-7000.

A Deceased D-Class: No effect

SCP-953: No effect. SCP-953 scoffed at the SCP-7000, before attacking observing personnel. Death toll: ██. Testing suspended

Note: Dr. /, what made you think that it was a good idea to let 953 use 7000? Report to the Ethics Committee for a disciplinary hearing-05-█

Note: so that’s why you peed on my brand new, white shoes- Dr. /
Note: //

Note: Testing permission was given to Dr. Vinco Fen, a new researcher.

Test SCP-7000-8

Note: Hi, I just got transferred from Site-64- Dr. Fen

Note: Also, I wanted to prove a fact: SCP-7000 does drown its victims- Dr. Fen

D-7879, D-9887, and D-3773 were asked to use SCP-7000 in order. Test went uneventfully, however, 2/3 of the D-Class Personnel drowned. Test was repeated with 4 D-Class, which resulted in 2/4 drowning. However, the 3rd D-Class lost his arm in the incident.

Note: See, I told you guys. There’s no way it’s luck. It’s a 66.6% percentage - Dr. Fen

—Tests resumed with Dr. /—

Test SCP-7000-9/ Incident SCP-7000-A

D-68847 was chosen to conduct this test. D-68847 was exposed to SCP-7000 for 15 minutes when out of protocol, Dr. █████ instructed D-68846 to insult SCP-7000. SCP-7000 then began to vibrate violently before line shot out of it’s spool, wrapping around D-68847 before violently strangling him to death. SCP-7000 then emitted powerful cognitohazardous sound waves, which made nearby D-Class personnel utilize SCP-7000 to escape. A site lockdown was engaged, called in Mobile Task Force Nu-7, Hammer Down, which were were unable to recontain SCP-7000, with 75% of it’s total force terminated after SCP-███ and SCP-████ were breached as a result of the skirmish. After 5 hours, SCP-7000 finally ran out of fishing line, and was able to be recontained, at the cost of an entire cleanup of Site-██ and ███ personnel. Following this incident, SCP-7000 has attempted to communicated via Morse code and the wobbling if the rod tip and will not let anyone near it .

Note: Oh My God. Holy Fucking Shit. Dr. Fen

Note: The former Dr. █████ has been demoted to D-class personnel

Dr. Fen has taken command as Head researcher of SCP-7000 following this incident

Note: requesting object class upgrade to Euclid- Dr. Fen

Note: //Denied. There is no proof that it is sentient or purpously trying to harm anyone. The breach was caused by Dr. █████'s carelessness. It’s just firing off random dots and dashes.-05-█ //

Partial Incident Audio log:

Dr. /: D-68847, please insult SCP-7000

D-68847: What do you mean?

Dr. /: Go ahead, let all your anger out

D-68847: Fine. Why am I here, Looking at this old fucking piece of shit? It’s so corroded and fucking musty that it’s probably been in the shed for 40 years! Fuck this, I’d rather be home and- wait, why is the rod vibrating? What have you don- GHWHAHAAARRGEH!!! SGGEHkajajAAAACCCCK!!! Dr. █████ (End log)

Test SCP-7000-12

D-4937 is a known professional fisherman who has extensive performance in the foundation’s fishing council, known as ██████████ █████, the former head researcher of SCP-7000. D-4937 volunteered for this test under the pretenses of forgiveness. D-4937 was exposed to SCP-7000 for 30 minutes. D-4937 described immense, burning guilt for the “torture” of SCP-7000 under his hands. SCP-7000 then reacted with “ U ARE SORRI", the first words SCP-7000 had spoken. D-4937 then began to cry violently, stating that it was all his fault that SCP-7000 had [REDACTED] and proceeded to stab himself to death with a fishing hook before Dr. Fen could react.

Note: I believe this warrants Euclid classification- It can [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] talk: Dr. Fen

Note: Approved-05-█.

Note: How the hell did he manage to stab himself to death with a fishing hook?- Dr. B█████

Incident SCP-7000-B

On ██/██/████, Dr. Fen was testing on SCP-7000 when SCP-106 breached containment. Dr. Fen was unable to find shelter before SCP-106 materialized behind him and attempted to bring him into his pocket dimension. However, as he fell, he grabbed on to SCP-7000 and casted it as such. SCP-106 was unable to fully pull Dr. Fen into his pocket, and was unable to move until Rapid Response Team were able to recontain him. Foundation personnel were safely able to retrieve Dr. Fen From his place via SCP-7000’s reel, and Dr. Fen expressed his gratitude by thanking SCP-7000, to which SCP-7000 responded “NO PROB NO TOURTURE”.

Following the events of Incident SCP-7000-B, SCP-7000 was questioned on it's origins.

Interview SCP-7000-1

rating: 0+x

SCP-7000 The Soulmate

Item #: SCP-7000

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures:

SCP-7000 instances are to be contained in a Standard Humanoid Containment Cell. At least one guard must be present at all times. Guards must be asexual and aromantic. Guards must not interact with SCP-7000. Researchers must avoid socialization with SCP-7000 as much as possible.
SCP-7000- β instances require at least five guards to be present at all times. There are no safety measures to be followed in the selection process of SCP-7000- β’s guards. This subtype of SCP-7000 requires a containment cell of 5 cm thick concrete walls, and 2100 m2 (half an acre) of free space to roam.


SCP-7000 is a species of humanoid creature that seeks to reproduce itself with a non-anomalous human at any cost.

It is capable of changing its appearance to match its prey’s preferred sexual and/or romantic partner. It is sapient and sentient, and its biological functions correspond to the portrayed characteristics. Non-anomalous reproduction will result in a normal human child. However, psychological testing proved SCP-7000 instances display psychopathic traits.

SCP-7000 has a remarkably short life span, of 1.5 years. After being born, it will wander around and learn to fit into human society. Its brain will develop at an abnormally fast rate, allowing it to mimic pleasantries and language. Emotions seem to be limited to the most instinctual level, although it tries to react naturally to stimuli. Upon reaching 1 year of age, it will enter sexual maturity, and it will begin stalking its victim, most of the time, selected at random from citizens meeting the criteria.

Victims are normally young adults, highly empathetic, with no established romantic relationships, and with interest in “love”. Being single, lonely, and idealizing relationships seem to increase the risk of being selected.

A prey might start noticing a series of casual encounters with SCP-7000 in their daily life, such as finding it waiting at the same bus stop or bumping into it in the same supermarket aisle. Once the victim has noticed the stranger, SCP-7000 will increase its attractiveness and the encounters’ probability of occurring will gradually lessen, appearing as “luck” or “destiny”.

A relationship is to be expected, as this creature’s only goal is to charm its prey. The “honeymoon phase” will last as long as SCP-7000’s life span allows it to last. It will court each individual through their preferred methods and will never cause an argument. This sweet atmosphere is combined with manipulation, making its victim spend more and more time with them until they cease all other activities in favor of spending time alone with SCP-7000.

Once SCP-7000 feels its life coming to an end, it will begin its anomalous reproduction process. The following steps have been investigated through D-class personnel offering:

  • It will find a suitable area for reproduction, such as a safe, enclosed room with no light present, or alter the area to its liking.
  • It will transport its partner to the nest.
  • It will embrace its partner for ten minutes with enough force to bruise. It will not respond to any form of interaction, including pleading and sobbing.
  • Its skin will begin to melt and stick to its victim. As it tries to cover the individual so that it is surrounded by flesh, skin and muscle will tear from the movements, causing blood loss.
  • The victim will fall unconscious from pain, but it will not die, as their internal organs interconnect with SCP-7000’s in a process that takes 2 hours.
  • SCP-7000 and the victim will form SCP-7000-β.

SCP-7000-βis a creature with two heads and four pairs of limbs: two pairs of legs and two pairs of arms. It has a longer torso than the average human. In addition to all normal organs in the thoracic cavity, it also has a brain, twice the size of a human brain. It has both male and female genitalia, and it impregnates itself. SCP-7000- β’s will spawn a litter of SCP-7000. The litter size may vary between 2 to 8 instances.
If SCP-7000 cannot secure a potential mate within 1.5 years, it will become violent. Its skin will melt off and it will segregate pheromones to lure humans into approaching it. In its frenzy, it might secure more than one victim.

Addendum: Incident 10301-R

Audio log from Interview 10301-R-5:

Interviewer: Field Agent Campos
Interviewed: Ms. Katz, Researcher Katz’s mother.
Incident #10301-R

<Begin Log>
[████████ ████████ Time, ████████ City, District ██ Police Station]

Agent Campos: When did you last see ██████?

Ms. Katz: Last Sunday. We always get the family together on Sundays and have dinner. But we talked over the phone after that.

Agent Campos: Is this the first time something like this happens?

Ms. Katz: Yes, she usually tells somebody where she’s going. Although there was that one time… Oh, it’s nothing.

Agent Campos: Please, go on. We need all the information we can get.

Ms. Katz: Two months ago, she brought her new boyfriend over. She had told us about ██████, and how they met one month prior. Turns out, they were already engaged by the time we got to see him. My husband and I were worried and told her so. She got so angry, that she stormed off, dragging ██████ with her. She wouldn’t answer my calls and she didn’t show up for a while.
I couldn’t believe it! She isn’t that kind of girl.

Agent Campos: Do they live together?

Ms. Katz: Oh, I think they do, but we certainly weren’t invited to her house while she was angry. We made peace with her just before Sunday. We tried meeting ██████ again. He turned out to be from a well-off family and a great kid in general. The sudden engagement scared us, that’s all. Though, I still don’t know what to make of her outburst that night.

Agent Campos: You said you talked with her after Sunday. Did you notice anything strange?

Ms. Katz: No, nothing at all. She even told us she had good news that she wanted to tell us in person.

Agent Campos: Well, Officer ██████ over there will need you to describe her. Don’t worry, we’ll find her.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Upon investigation, Agent Campos found ██████’s social media profile, along with photos of himself with researcher Katz. This served as a base for launching a more detailed investigation. There is no documentation proving any person named ██████ ██████, matching Katz’s fiancé’s description, exists.

Audio log from Interview 10301-R-8:

Interviewer: Dr. Molina.
Interviewed: Field Agent Campos.
Incident #10301-R

<Begin Log>
[████████ ████████ Time, Research Area ██]

Dr. Molina: Tell me, what did you find in researcher Katz’s house?

Agent Campos: The house looked just fine on the outside. There were no broken windows, and the lawn was recently mowed, judging by the big grass-filled trash bags we found. But when we approached the main door, we found it already open.

We entered ready for a possible encounter, as weak as our defense against something like that could be.

We checked all the rooms, one by one. Katz’s personal belongings and documents were still in her room, even her keys to the house and her car. The car was still in the garage.

There were signs ████████ had been living with her, but he didn’t have many items. Just a few pieces of clothing, a wallet, and a watch. The car was still in the garage. Yet, they were both missing.

Dr. Molina: Strange, but not enough to be considered an anomalous activity incident. Surely you must be requesting aid because of some other evidence.

Agent Campos: There’s a lot of gut feeling involved in being a Field Agent. After a while, you get this… uneasiness in crimes that seem normal at first. I followed that dread in the pit of my stomach.

Under the UV light, I noticed a strange liquid in the back of a closet. It smelled like blood, but it was transparent and viscous. Its DNA came back wrong. It had not 46 chromosomes, but 46 pairs of chromosomes. Part of it was Katz’s. The other partially corresponded to an unknown human male. But the thing was that not all of it was human.

It was night already by the time we finished looking around the house. We took advantage of that and I shined the UV light outside. Sure enough, the same liquid was present in small patches of grass, slowly creeping towards the woods in the back.

Dr. Molina: Did you confirm the anomalous entity’s presence in the woods?

Agent Campos: Yes. We sent a small drone to check it out.

It went up and down, avoiding branches until it found a small clearance. In the center, a person sat down on the grass, completely naked. They were giggling quietly.

The drone got closer and we saw their — no, its back. It was like two clay figures were smashed into each other’s back, joining them together like conjoined twins, with their flesh exploding around them and freezing in place. It looked vaguely like Katz, skin tissue overgrown and covering almost all of its faces.

Hands with too many fingers attempted to cover its faces after noticing the drone. But shame quickly was overpowered by anger and another hand swatted the drone to the ground. It took one last look into the camera, four eyes blinking around two noses, one mouth frowning and another one growling.

[A minute of silence passes.]

Dr. Molina: I see… We will provide a Mobile Task Force.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: After this interview, team Cupid’s Editors was dispatched. SCP-7000- β-1 was promptly caught and brought to the Foundation.

A series of interviews conducted by Dr. Molina proved that her ex-assistant, Researcher Katz, is not only capable of remembering her and their work in the Foundation, but appears to also have gained superior intelligence.

Dr. Molina and Katz’s petition for Katz’s reintegration into Research Area ██ is still pending approval.

rating: 0+x


    • _


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    //Centuries nein leibehate


    pressure travelwaitingpain manytubesgo lastingfilamentqueue nnnn Born Help Me Plea=


      • _

      Item #: SCP-7000

      Object Class: Euclid

      Special Containment Procedures: No less than two foundation satellites are to scan each of the lakes of planet Earth once per two days to determine possible instances of SCP-7000. If an instance of SCP-7000 is detected, two level 2 security agents are to be deployed to the site. Security agents are to keep civilians away from SCP-7000 under an appropriate cover story. Any civilians that witness SCP-7000 is to be administered class A amnestics after being interviewed.

      Description: SCP-7000 is a circular hoop, with diameter of roughly 7 meters. An instance of SCP-7000 will appear suspended roughly 7 meters above the center of the surface of a random lake of approximate volume 500 cubic meters to 50 cubic kilometers at a rate of approximately 30 lakes worldwide per 10 years. No pattern in the lakes SCP-7000 will spawn over has been detected.

      After hovering above the lake for 3 days, SCP-7000 will descend into the lake at a rate of 0.7 meters per hour. SCP-7000 will continue to descend beyond the lake bed by seemingly phasing through it.

      Addendum: After drastically accelerating appearances of SCP-7000, including new behavior in which SCP-7000 descended nearly immediately, a n91e1w help me




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      hungerofforever veinsofreality followingtimelinesdiamondcompact milleniafeelingswisdom It's YOU I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE I'M HERE THE PRESSURE FUC


        • _

        Item #: SCP-7000

        Object Class: Keter

        Special Containment Procedures: No less than thirteen foundation satellites are to scan each of the lakes of planet Earth once per two days to determine possible instances of SCP-7000. No less than five level 3 security agents are to be manually checking the AI's output for possible SCP-7000 instances. If an instance of SCP-7000 is detected, five level 3 security agents and 100 D-class ready for termination are to be deployed to the site. Security agents are to keep civilians away from SCP-7000 under an appropriate cover story. Any civilians that witness SCP-7000 are to be administered class A amnestics as soon as possible after being interviewed.

        When foundation personnel arrive on site, the D-class are to approach the water and travel to the middle of the lake, directly under SCP-7000. SCP-7000 will then begin descending. D-class must then enter SCP-7000 from the northern side while SCP-7000 is partially underwater. Most D-class will then instantly disappear. It will take an average of 10 before a success. The procedure is a success when there is a survivor that emerges from the southern side. The DNA profile of the person that emerges is identical or incredibly similar, but the D class often has a drastically different personality, or appearance. The whereabouts of the D class that disappear are unknown. An interview with one of the individuals that emerged from SCP-7000 can be found below.

        Description: SCP-7000 is a circular metallic hoop, with diameter of exactly 7.77 meters. An instance of SCP-7000 will appear suspended exactly 7.77 meters above the volumetric center of a lake of approximate volume 500 cubic meters, to 53 cubic kilometers, at a rate of approximately 6,825 lakes worldwide, per 10 years. No pattern in the lakes SCP-7000 will spawn over has been detected.

        After hovering above the lake for a period of 20 seconds to 3 days, SCP-7000 will descend into the lake at a rate of 0.77 meters per hour. SCP-7000 will continue to descend beyond the lake bed by seemingly phasing through it. Each successful activation of SCP-7000 seems to increase the rate it manifests.

        Interviewed: D-████
        Interviewer: Head Researcher Dr. Born

        Foreword: Audio devices failed to capture the voice of D-████. All transcripts were taken by a Foundation researcher monitoring the interview.
        <Begin Log>

        Dr. Born: Hello D-████, we just have a few questions about your experiences with SCP-7000 today.
        D-████ looks very uncomfortable, pausing for several seconds

        D-████: C-can you use my real name?

        Dr. Born: Ohm. Uh. I suppose.

        Dr. Born uses an electronic tablet for a few moments

        Dr. Born: It says here that your name is Charles?

        D-████ reacts visibly, cringing and tucking her knees to her chest

        D-████: Uhm. It's Chelsea.

        Dr. Born: Ah. I somewhat figured there was something like that going on here. I'll update your pronouns in your file and create an appointment with one of our doctors to start a hormone therapy appointment on… Seems like Friday at 13:00 is open.

        D-████: Oh! My god. Uhm. Thank you. Is… Not hating people like me. Is that normal here?

        Dr. Born: Absolutely, Chelsea. We do what has to be done and nothing more. The point here is to protect humans from suffering. It's really no problem, but we really need some co-operation from you Chelsea. Now, what happened when you entered SCP-7000?

        D-████ sighs heavily and looks lost in thought
        D-████: Uhm. It's really hard. Might not make a lot of sense.

        Dr. Born: We see a lot of things that don't make sense here, try me.

        D-████: Well… Okay. The second I stepped in it was like… A computer glitch. Everything was repeating. Like when your computer freezes and you move the window around. But it was… Everything! Absolutely everything! It was like a tunnel and everything wrapped around me! But it slowly got smaller and smaller, like reality was just some sort of wrap around the inside of a cone, and it was sucking me further and further in! Like I was on one of those airport people movers. At first I could move around inside of the space, so I tried to leave back out the entrance, but there was… Some sort of invisible wall there. And a presence. And for some reason I was reminded of one of my friends that… Had to go through the thing. It didn't take me long before I realized the… People mover thing… Was speeding up and speeding up and I realized it was gonna crush me into the… Reality cone thing…

        D-████ falls silent and looks at the floor for around a minute.

        Dr. Born: And… Then what happened?

        D-████: And it crushed me! I got forced into the cone! It got tighter and tighter and tighter until I was just a string! I remember it in my head! I was so thin you couldn't even see me with a microscope! And faster and faster and faster… There were all these branching paths that I was going down, millions and billions and trillions of branching paths. And I was going down them so fast. But I felt a presence guiding me, even in so much pain and the pressure… So much pressure… Like the weight of a billion earths pressing on me from all sides. And then… Nothing. There was nothing. And it lasted forever. And then I was coming out of the lake here.

        Dr. Born: Wow. Very interesting. That sounds like it was a horrible experience.

        D-████: Words can't describe.

        Dr. Born: Well… I think that's all we need for today. You hang in there okay Chelsea? Appointment Friday, that's 2 days.

        D-████: Yeah. Yes. Seriously, I can't think you enough.

        <End Log>
        Closing Statement: D-████ was not in her cell when medical personnel came to retrieve her for her doctor's appointment. D-████'s whereabouts are currently unknown.

        Addendum: After one containment failure over Lake Tahoe, attributed to the exceedingly small amount of time before activation, and the difficulty and costs associated with performing the old procedure on a lake larger than thought possible for the anomaly, Dr. ████, current head researcher over SCP-7000, emerged from the lake. Dr. ████ carried a charred corpse and a recording video camera. An autopsy of the body showed all DNA removed from the cells. A transcript of the tape can be seen below. After emerging, Dr. ████ began acting very erratically, crying hysterically for several hours, then incoherently mumbling about being "lost in the tubes" and how he "had to switch for millennia". Dr. ████ continued this pattern in psychiatric care for 3 days before recovering very suddenly. Dr. ████ then demanded to show the O5 council revised containment procedures for SCP-7000, including instructions for a procedure CK-9801 "Separation Anxiety", which would save an estimated 7,000 D-Class personnel per year. This note was not found on Dr. ████'s person when emerging from the water and was not water damaged.

        Of note is that a preliminary X-ray of Dr. ████'s body while he was in psychiatric care behaved as if nothing was being scanned. The image showed the wall he was leaning against and nothing else. More scans were ordered, and several X-ray, MRI, and reality scans on different machines also behaved as if there was no subject being scanned. Hume scans registered at exactly 0.00. Hume scans were ordered on previous D class that emerged from SCP-7000 with the old procedure, but none were able to be located despite more than ten that have been in a monitored holding cell.

        Video feed activates

        Two researchers in black lab coats with a four pronged, white version of the SCP logo on the back are seen in a foundation laboratory. One stumbles slightly with his back to the camera, working on something unseen as the other emerges from behind the camera. The laboratory is uncharacteristically messy and dirty. Trash, plates of mostly eaten food, and beer bottles, many broken, are scattered about the floor to such a degree it would be impossible not to step on the debris.

        "Alright Born, I turned the camera on, now, what did you say about the uhh…"

        "Alright I'll explain it for you one more time Chinny…"

        "My name is Chinen. Chin. In. It's not even hard dude."


        A sigh is heard

        "Alright. So what I'm saying is, a pattern screamer doesn't have to be in a physical location. It can be in a concept. It can be in information. It can be in the probability space. It can consist of multiple of these things at the same time. It can even move! Do you know how powerful it would be if we could manipulate one?"

        "What, you mean, like, create holes in the universe? That doesn't sound like the best idea. How would we sew them back up?"

        "No Chinny, you're not thinking big picture here. This IS the best idea. It's the best idea I've had since Don't Bring Your Panties to Work Day"

        "Well I'm not a creepy pervert like you are, so I didn't get much out of that. But let's hear you out."

        "Now, imagine if you will, hypothet-"

        Video feed abruptly cuts to static for 5 minutes.

        Video feed activates

        Dr. Born is hitting the side of the camera as it fizzles back from static. Dr. Chinen is staring into the distance while sitting in front of a computer, thoughtfully.

        "Cheap Chinese piece of junk, hope it didn't miss anything good. But you see what I mean, yeah? What /couldn't/ we do if we pulled it off?"

        "Keep existing"

        "Overrated. We're going to die someday anyways. You're thinking small picture here. You mathematically proved this can be used to travel between /universes/. What can be more existing than influencing multiple universes, potentially propagating itself forever?"

        "There's no"

        Dr. Born makes air quotes

        "Travel. You still can't make it across the point in the wormhole between the universes. There's nothing there. Your consciousness will stop existing when you reach that point."

        "Yes. Exactly. That's my point. You'll stop existing when you reach that point. You'll become a-"

        "Oh. Oh no."

        "Yes no. And the hole will take on your personality, doing whatever you would have done, as long as that"

        Dr. Born makes air quotes

        "you - is never lost attention of for too long."

        "And what about the other person‽"

        "They'll not exist just as hard, they won't actually be sorting through all that data in the probability space"

        "I mean. I guess. But that personality will-"

        "Illusion. Convincing one, which is the whole point, but the probability space's edges will just… Do what you would have done a little."

        "You realize what you're asking me to do here, right?"

        "Yeah. Become immortal."

        Dr. Chinen slams his fists on the desk

        "Dammit Born, there's so much more I wanted to experience in this life I can't get roped into this."

        "You should have thought about that before you accepted this job, pussy."

        "There wasn't anything else available. I'll do the programming for this and nothing else, you hear me? Nothing. You find your own lunatic for this crazy suicidal experiment. If this works the leaders are going to send my pay grade to the moon."

        "To the moon buddy! You got it, that's all I wanted from you anyways Chinny, keep gettin' on with your bad self"

        "Alright, one more condition, stop calling me that."

        "Damn dude, you're no fun. Alright just look on the bright side, you finish this and it works, you never have to see me again."

        "Yeah. Yeah. That's a pretty good motivation, I'll be programming anyways, at least this is going to be interesting"

        "Alright. Get on that then Chinny."

        Dr. Born quickly leaves the room and slams the door. After several seconds staring at the door in silence, Dr. Chinen makes a long grunt that turns into a yell. He throws his mouse at the camera, and the feed cuts to black

        Video feed activates

        The camera is inside a backpack. Dr. Born's face and the roof of a car is barely visible as he reaches in, rummaging through supplies. He is breathing extremely heavily and takes out a bottle of water before zipping up the backpack, cutting the video feed to black for the rest of the tape

        "Was a lot heavier than I thought he was gonna be, shit"

        A pickup truck's engine turns over and begins to idle.

        "Siri, take me to the nearest lake."

        "Which one? Starting route to. Lake George."

        A squeaking sound is heard as the car leaves park and pulls onto the road.

        The feed cuts in and out between static and black several times over the next hour. GPS directions can sometimes be heard when the feed is black.

        "Damn potholes; lazy ass road workers."

        The truck's brakes squeak as the engine falls back to idling, then turns off.

        "Alright pussy, time to become immortal whether you like it or not. I'm not waiting for the leaders to approve this."

        The truck's door opens and closes. Wood scrapes metal loudly, then a loud splash is heard. The truck's door opens again. Some rustling is heard and some items in the backpack are heard hitting the casing of the camera. Dr. Chinen then begins to grunt

        "Hoof, c'mon. 1, 2, 3, 4. Up!"

        Heavy, slow footsteps accompany heavy breathing for a few moments, then a loud thunk is heard, followed by a few softer ones

        "Whoa-oh. Can't fall out of this thing now, no way I'd be able to keep chinny from drowning, it requires a consciousness to feed off the quantum scale interactions… God I sound like a fuckin nerd."

        Rhythmic splashes are heard on the water for a few minutes, then they slow to a stop.

        "Alright… This looks like the center. Now all I have to do is float the pi in the water… Push the code from my phone… Aaaaaand…"

        The sound of Dr. Born screaming is cut off after less than a second and the video feed ends

        Addendum: After the possible outcomes of an uncontained SCP-7000 have been brought to light, O5 Council has unanimously approved adaption of procedure CK 9801 and the new containment procedures in an emergency vote. Do not attempt to revise, update, speak of, copy, or convey the containment procedures in any way. You will not succeed. You do not recognize the bbobbdbbies N the w




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        foreverRandomforeverDataforeverSortforeverSearchforever Get Me Out Of Here YOU'RE NOT EVEN SORRY, I'm So So Sorry, Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry To Whoever Has To Get Lost In This H


          • _
          Item#: 7000
          Containment Class:
          Secondary Class:
          Disruption Class:
          Risk Class:

          Special Containment Procedures: No less than 200 foundation operatives belonging to a sexual, gender, or romantic minority, with removed or non-functional vocal cords, and the inability to write in any language, are to manually scan satellite imagery of the lakes of planet Earth at all times to determine possible instances of SCP-7000. Operatives must click on each instance with a special foundation software named "Waldosu" to indicate location without conveying any information that would trigger the infohazardous capabilities of SCP-7000. If enough appropriate operatives cannot be located, other operatives recruited must undergo vocal surgery and/or special amnestics to ensure compliance.

          Under no circumstances are personnel allowed to convey any information about SCP-7000. The location of a SCP-7000 instance is only to be conveyed by Waldosu, which bypasses the infohazard by simply giving the name of a lake and a co-ordinate roughly one kilometer away in a random direction. If an operative needs to know information about SCP-7000, it must only be accessed from this article. The number of people who know about SCP-7000 is to be kept at an absolute minimum. Any civilian or personnel not assigned to SCP-7000 that witness SCP-7000 are to be administered class A amnestics before any information about it can be conveyed. This is a top foundation priority. Mobile task force Zeta-6 "String Surfers" Zeta-7 "Bored Apes" is to be selected from D-Class personnel by the site director. Those selected for the task force must have been cognitively tested in the top 5% of foundation personnel. Members must be thoroughly educated on Hugh Everett's "Many-Worlds Interpretation" of the multiverse. Two new members must be recruited to the task force after each run of procedure CK-9801 "Separation Anxiety", as well as replacing any lost in combat.



          SCP-7000 is a a circular metallic hoop with reality altering and infohazardous capabilities. It will appear suspended above lakes of volume 500 cubic meters, to 151 cubic kilometers, at a rate of approximately 7,777 of lakes in this range of sizes per 10 years. No pattern in lakes has been detected. Each activation of SCP-7000 increases the rate at which it manifests. Proper execution of CK-9801 "Separation Anxiety" is of utmost foundation importance. Information about SCP-7000 may only be retrieved through a special technique developed by Dr. Chinen termed "Screamer Sort", an O(log(log(N))) time, O(1) space sorting algorithm that uses quantum atmospheric fluctuations to generate incredible amounts of random data and sorts through it by creating specially crafted "holes" in the probability space. If a very close match to the text of this article exists in the random data, the algorithm creates a specifically crafted "probability space hole" that makes the text of the article the only possible outcome when a random starting point is algorithmically chosen. This bypasses SCP-7000's infohazardous capabilities as, in a literal sense, no one conveyed any information about the anomaly. Testing with this algorithm on other types of data is pending, but each data set intended to be fed to the algorithm is already a minimum of 99.99% sorted, even on repeatedly scrambled incredibly large datasets, and putting the data set in the algorithm results in no change between the input and output.

          Previously, any conveyed information about SCP-7000 would cause an instance of it to appear and unpredictably activate, with the change in reality proportional to how useful and accurate the information is at describing SCP-7000. Additionally, information about it that is recorded about its infohazardous capabilities will cause a near immediate and unstoppable activation that will erase the information about SCP-7000's infohazardous capabilities completely from the timeline. If CK-9801 "Separation Anxiety" fails even one time from this point on, the way of obtaining this article may be lost, as well as any information from it from the minds of any that have read it. Information conveyed about SCP-7000 that isn't recorded in some way will not cause an unstoppable activation, but will reduce the time allotted to perform CK-9801 "Separation Anxiety", with the reduction in time allotted directly proportional to how useful the information is at describing SCP-7000.

          SCP-7000 will slowly descend into the lake at a rate of 0.777 meters per hour after hovering above it for 3 days, unless the instance was activated by an information security failure. SCP-7000 will descend even if the lake isn't deep enough to accommodate it; it will phase through the bottom and both exist and not exist in a superposition inside the earth until activated. If SCP-7000 submerges completely into the lake, it will activate. Dr. Chinen believes that each instance of SCP-7000 represents a universe different than ours by exactly one random quantum bit, or one decision. If SCP-7000 activates, the timeline seen inside SCP-7000 will switch places with the observed reality. It has also been observed during previous activations that a larger lake volume corresponds to a greater change in reality.

          During procedure CK-9801 "Separation Anxiety" twenty individuals from the task force stationed closest to the lake must travel to it as fast as possible by any means necessary. The two oldest individuals from the task force enter the water and travel to the volumetric center of the lake, directly below SCP-7000. It will then begin to lower into the lake until half submerged. Both individuals must simultaneously enter the northern side of SCP-7000. Both will disappear the moment they do, as well as the instance of SCP-7000. You do not recognize the two bodies that emerge from the southern side, and they are to be executed by the rest of the task force the instant they emerge by any means necessary, regardless of what they try to say or do to convince you otherwise. Skilled, anomalously assisted resistance is possible.

          Repeated failures of the procedure will lead to constant activations of SCP-7000, leading to reality constantly, rapidly, and unpredictably changing, which would be at best a severe CK restructuring event, most likely a ZK complete reality failure scenario, and at worst an IK "Information failure" scenario, causing the complete inability for any probability wave functions to collapse and therefore all possible information to be more and more fundamentally uncertain at an exponentially increasing rate. Dr. Chinen describes this as a "soup of infinite impossible". The most likely result of this is the most unlikely event in the universe, spontaneous boltzman brain generation on the smallest possible scale, many with unavoidably reused consciousnesses, popping into and out of existence, per planck volume, per planck time. This will result in the creation of 7.7*10^77777 as a low end and a number represented to the right as a high end consciousnesses being created.


          Additionally, this unimaginable quantity of information may cause the universe to expand rapidly at a near-cosmic-inflation ratio, creating nearly infinite amounts of new space for new boltzman brains to spawn in. This amount of information will not collapse into a black hole due to the quantum wave function's inability to collapse. Instead, the consciousnesses will feel nearly infinite pressure and pain, and may even begin to [REDACTED]

          ARTICLE END
            • _

            Addendum: Dr. ████ has been given a psychological background check and an interview after repeated and uncharacteristic severe violations of foundation protocol.

            Interviewed: Dr. ████
            Interviewer: Dr. Barry
            Foreword: Psychological profile revealed a disregard for following authority and proficiency in psychological manipulation. The interviewer would like to note that such an individual would normally find it impossible to advance as far as they have in the foundation, and no incidents were on record before the failed procedure that resulted in revised containment procedures. Audio recording devices failed to capture the voice of Dr. ████. All transcripts were taken by a Foundation researcher monitoring the interview.
            <Begin Log>

            Dr. Barry: Dr. ████, you have been caught in blatant [REDACTED], [DATA EXPUNGED], and ███ █████████. You used to be one of the foundation's most respectable researchers, as recently as one week ago giving a respectable interview to a transgender D-class involved in this anomaly. Can you please explain to me why you've suddenly felt the need to act this way?
            Dr. ████: Uh, yeah, I suddenly got cool.

            Dr. Barry: Dr. ████, a foundation ███-█████████-██████ personality test has determined by your actions that there is a one times ten to the negative 18 chance that you are the same person as the one before the lake incident.

            Dr. ████ yawns exaggeratedly
            Dr. ████: I don't know d███, maybe I have that there "multiple personality disorder"
            Dr. Barry: Dr. ████, I can't believe I have to tell you this, but please refrain from misgendering foundation personnel, or honestly anyone for that matter, and using slurs. Also the condition is called dissociative identity disorder now.
            Dr. ████: Haha, yeah that thing. Dumb b████.

            Dr. Barry sighs heavily

            Dr. Barry: Dr. ████, who is Dr. Chinen?
            Dr. ████: Hmmmm.

            Dr. ████ makes an exaggerated face feigning deep thought, holding the "m" sound for nearly 20 seconds while doing so

            Dr. ████: Yeahh, I don't know, don't think he exists anymore.

            Dr. Barry: Dr. ████, we need to know all you know about the-
            Dr. ████: Hey what did they used to call you, ████████ right?

            Dr. Barry: Dr. ████, please stay on topic. Why does a scan of your body show a hume level of zero?
            Dr. ████: Hey b████ don't be like that, "s███ c███ p████, am I right?"

            Dr. Barry: Dr. ████, please refrain from-
            Dr. ████: You used to have great t███ eh?

            Dr. Barry: This interview is over.

            Dr. Barry leaves his seat and starts to leave the interview room

            Dr. ████: You know you need me dumb b████!

            Dr. Barry slams the door to the interview room
            <End Log>
            Closing Statement: Due to the incredibly grave threat of SCP-7000 should it become uncontained, and the incredible power of screamer sort, Dr. ████ is to remain as the head researcher over SCP-7000, despite his hideous, infantile, disgusting behavior. Please stop swamping ethics with reports on the only person we agree we can do nothing about, who also would abuse that power. Let me restate this. No matter what he is doing, the consequences of firing him and him being able to make this document read whatever he wants, while having a P=NP breaking algorithm that we do not, may be unimaginably worse. Classification upgrade to apollyon denied, Dr. Barry. We can do this. This is a terrible last thing to be able to read, we know. Greatly increased funding has been approved for those assigned to SCP-7000 for psychological evaluations and methods of therapy effective for those without languandgfu DON'T BELIEVE THAT BIGOT FUCK HE CAN ONLY ADD THINGS TO THE LAST ARTICLE AND SCRAMBLE THE L



            GOODBYE SITE DIRECTOR ████

rating: 0+x

SCP-7000 Pattern

Item #: SCP-7000

Object Class: Thaumiel

Special Containment Procedures: Site 42 has been constructed around SCP 7000 in Rome to facilitate containment. Stationary Task Force Lambda-7 (Fortune Tellers) have been assigned to Site 42 as specialized operators familiar with SCP-7000’s mechanics. Any civilians attempting to access SCP-7000 are to be denied entrance and be escorted off Site.

At sunrise, the condition of SCP-7000 shall be observed. Once SCP-7000 has finished performing automatic calibrations, Lambda-7 shall perform manual calibrations to the extent possible. Following calibration process, a report shall be drafted. This report will be reviewed by the Lambda-7 Leader, the site director and a member of the ethics committee before being circulated throughout the foundation, where all receiving parties shall then make individual risk assessments determinate on SCP-7000 data.

Description: SCP-7000 is a large orrery, of unique make. The materials used to make it include several elements that are difficult to manipulate or should not exist in their current states. Materials used include Gold, Silver, Bronze, Obsidian, Mercury, and ████████████ among others. SCP-7000 displays a unique pattern, atypical from the usual model of the solar system, the purpose of which is still under investigation. SCP-7000 features a housing area that seems to store and provide components to simplify or complicate the pattern presented during Active states. Observation has deemed that the housing area is anomalously large, as significantly more components have been provided than the housing unit of SCP-7000 could possibly contain.

At sunrise, SCP-7000 will enter an active state. The rings of SCP-7000 will move autonomously for a period between 30 to 300 seconds, before entering interactive state. The time that SCP-7000 will be in interactive state is exactly seven times the time spent in active state. Following the Interactive state, SCP-7000 shall enter Inactive state until the next Sunrise. This is to be considered the secondary function of SCP-7000.

The primary function of SCP-7000 is to alter probability. During the inactive state of SCP-7000, all events shall deviate from a universal constant probability (UCP), at rates congruent to the positioning of the rings following Active, and Interactive states. Probability is altered in a range determinate by rings ████ and ██. Severity of probability alteration is dictated by rings ██████████ and ██. Alteration type is dictated by rings ███ and ███. All other rings seem to serve as modifiers that change the end output after the interactive state has been completed.

Due to the age of SCP-7000, foundation assets in Rome have been able to secure additional information, believed to be related to SCP-7000. All logs have been digitized, translated, and updated to modern language for ease of comprehension, and logs of particular interest to the foundation have been made readily available.

SCP7000 Logs:

I am very excited. After much effort, we have relocated the Greek machine to the heart of Rome. I have begun these records as the Greeks had done so themselves. We should endeavor to not repeat their failures that led to them losing-

The Tychilabe is working as expected. I must admit, waking earlier than sunrise has taken getting used to. However, the Tychilabe is consistent in the results that it produces. As I have implied before, I don’t know how the Greeks failed to use this machine successfully.

I am beginning to see a startling trend. I notice that the Fortunolabe is becoming harder to interact with than it was before. Maybe this problem is what the Greeks had faced, and what Ulysses had despised them for. I am going to allow the Fortunolabe to take its course tomorrow in the hopes that this will blunt the dangerous trend.

Things have continued to be manageable. In spite of Vitus’ execution his actions seem to have balanced the curve so to speak.

I am making this note to voice my concerns, as no one else will seem to listen. The trend from Vitus’ time has reoccurred. The Fortunolabe is producing significantly more difficult arrays to produce good results from, and we are given less and less time to think to solve these arrays. We are on the edge of the cliff, and I believe that we will be forced off soon.

We are doing the best that we can, but it isn't enough. We don’t- -arbarians continue to raze our defenses, I think that the Fortunolabe is- -won’t be much time before- - must be balan-


Memo about SCP-7000:

I am writing this to impress upon whosoever reads this document the importance of the continued operation of SCP-7000. Whether you be a recently promoted leader of Lambda-7 in light of my expiration, a new member of SCP-7000 security staff, O-5 councilors reviewing this file or even God forbid some alternate party who has come into custody of this device. You have to have balance. We have discovered this through trial and violent error through history.

I am not going to speak scientifically to you. There is only so much that science can explain when you interact with an artifact this significant in your day to day. In addition, there is only so much testing that CAN be done when interacting with an artifact like this. We have defined what a UCP is but information like that is only so useful. This pontificating is all done to explain something grim.

I have no scientific proof of this, but I believe that we are on the edge of the cliff as the roman engineers of old may have been. I hypothesize that SCP-7000 gives what you take from it. The romans used SCP-7000 to create an empire, so when the pendulum swung back at them their empire was destroyed. We have used SCP-7000 to prevent XK-class scenarios and to facilitate containment. We have done our best to balance the bad luck with the good luck. And I do mean luck, not probability. Again, I just want to call things as they are.

I believe that we have dug our own grave with this machine. Things are manageable at the time of drafting this memo, but I have concerns that in the near future we may need to seriously consider lessening our dependency on SCP-7000 so that this proverbial pot may simmer down. As it stands, it may boil over. And if it does give what it takes. We have taken security, and it may deliver us ruin.

-Alexander Scipio, Lambda-7 Leader

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